Shortly Before She Gave Us Everything She's Got

Oh, cherubim and seraphim, are thoust mist child?
What a sweet pungent face,
What hands, what mouth, what expression.
If you were able to speak what would
thoust sayest to us-est?
Would thouest perhaps deign thyself to alert us to the everloving rush of partially digested food about to rupture from your innards?

Glory be to your father,
who had the pleasure of coddling you
during this
living room rupture,
whose lightening fast reflexes
enabled him to clamp his thighs
together and gather the aromatic mixture.