OK, One More

I enjoy this video because of the last fifteen seconds when Stella's jabbering. This is original material that does not belong to Viacom.

Things Worth Remembering

While Stella ate her lunch yesterday she developed a kind of Mystery Meat face. It was a cross between "Hey, what is this?" to "Hey, I know what this is." I knew what this portended. She had consumed large quantities of grapes lately without producing any byproduct. I had a feeling it was go-time.

We proceeded into the bathroom and in a matter of moment Stella had done both businesses on the toilet. Great!

I was very congratulatory, giving her fives and excited and what not, as was she. She kept squealing and covering her mouth with both hands as if in excited disbelief. She does this frequently now after seeing it somewhere and it is quite endearing.

After she was all put back together and freely roaming the house she continued to stop and squeal and cover her mouth and seek me out for more fives. Pretty fun stuff.

This morning I got her out of bed and asked her if she had to go potty. She went into the bathroom and was getting her seat all situated on the toilet. I let her go through the motions even though I could already smell that she had already attended to her needs in her diaper.

Later on, I sat with her for a bit during Sesame Street. Cookie Monster and Prairie Dawn were talking of the letter "E." CM was "imagining" that the letter was a cookie. As he is wont to do, he let his imagination take over and he promptly devoured the "E." Stella reacted with a loud gasp and a commiserating sound (I assume for PD's disappointment).

When we gather as a fam to watch America's Funniest Home Videos, Stella reacts to the action. Once, a baby was hurt and this brought on some sad tears. Usually she is shocked and surprised by all the mishaps. It's interesting to see that she understands not only that something has gone wrong but that it's terribly funny.

While I Get Better She Gets Out

Stella goes out on a lunch date.

"Your forgot your wallet!"



Strictly for good measure.

The Hobbit

Thank you for getting me from my nap.


Now that I am finished with elevenses, can we move on to my lunch?



Thank you.

Prairie Dawn, I Have Always Loved You

When I was wee and watched Sesame Street I had some favorite characters. I loved Prairie Dawn. She was so cute and chatty. I thought her hair was nice and she always wore cute clothes.

But then there was Slimey--Oscar's pet worm. I loved him. I loved worms in general. I collected them from the garden and called them Fellas. And I loved the fact that Oscar's worm had a little bed. LOVED IT.






Then there were the Twiddlebugs who lived in Ernie's flower box.



I don't know if I can adequately describe my love and fascination for them and their little world. Perhaps they were my inspiration for making bug hotels. I loved the idea of this small world that existed fully intact within my own world.

Nowadays, I love Sesame Street for another reason. It gives me about one hour each morning to get some chores done without my precious shadow who undoes all my chores. It gives me some time to have some coffee and read my email. Even more, it gives me the opportunity to see some of my old favorites from the Street. Believe it or not, some of those classic little skits, characters and montages are still intact after all these years.

And, by the way, just as I was finishing this up I heard Oscar reading a story and I ran back to the TV room to see Slimey in his bed. And there's a new girl worm named Sloppy. I'm unsure of whether or not she's Slimey's progeny or not, but she had a pony tail.

Lunch Snooze Part II

This time with better lighting!

Every Thursday we go to the library for story time. From 10:15-11:15 we hang out with other moms and kids and sing songs and listen to stories. Then there's time to play with a ton of toys and usually about fifteen other children around Stella's age. Lately, who knows why, Stella has been in dire need of a nap between 10-11am. This interrupts our story time. Halfway through free play Stella will begin a quick downward slide. At that time I perform an extraction.

The library is so close to our house I usually get home before she entirely succumbs to the napping gods. I try to give her some sustenance so as to make her nap last a little longer. Unfortunately, she becomes very quiet and starts to nod. And while I usually put her to bed right away, other times I can't resist recording it for posterity.

Stella Likes to Eat Sand

Therefore, when she poops she not only gets the relief of a bowel movement, but when her diaper gets changed she has the buff and shine exfoliation treatment. The little diva, some might say, already getting spa treatments at such a young age. This is the same girl who had her first diaper blow-out at The Camelback Inn. She was, after all, born in Scottsdale, Arizona, aka East Beverly Hills. One may ask, "When a girl like this is in need of a first hair cut where does she go?" She suggests a trip to the local Toni & Guy salon.


"Hmmm, yes, I'd like to lose some length, perhaps add some layers--what's that flash?!"


"Paparazzi, please, give a girl some space!"


"I spy some hair products. When we're finished, can you please take me to see them, Go Go?"

I Call This One "Shiny Lips"

"We would like to thank the Academy for the Most Precious and Definitely Not Overrated Digital Camera Movie Award. We're flattered, of course, but we also understand the power of a cute child consuming man-sized portions of meat. And of course the jibberish and the answering of questions like she really knows what I'm asking. But most of all, the Shiny Lips, we understand their power."

Keeping It Real

Stella is a connoiseur of the good life. She likes to eat real food. When she's hungry for meat she don't want no cut-up-little-bits-so-they-can-fit-in-her-mouth. She wants the real thing. She wants it off the bone.

Oh, and she likes to make faces now, too.

"Backlighting Kills the Shot"

I am going to share this regardless of the poor quality. Stella endured a Long Day recently and couldn't make it through lunch. She started drifting and instead of taking her out of her chair and out of her tired misery, I recorded it so we can all laugh at how innocent and funny she is.

The last fifteen seconds are the best. I must admit, I hope this happens again so that I may correct my lighting mistake the second time around!

Post 130

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Mom, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to put you down for a nap and let you slumber."

Ah, life.

Stella, you can be a lot of work. There's tears and fussing and wailing. And unexplained tiredness when I have something fun planned. There's waking up at 6:30 in the morning when it's still dark outside. What is that all about?

Of course, there's also the kisses and hugs that you give. The pats on the back and your cheeks that always smell like maple syrup even though you never eat it.

Regardless, you're taking a nap.

Our Agenda

A recent email sent to the grandparents...

Wow,
Stella recently informed us that she wants to make overnights a regular occurance in 2007. She already experienced one with much success during our flu in December. So, we're accepting offers. We're filling up her calendar! She's a social being a she likes to do stuff. She enjoys the movies, the carousel (if you stand next to her), the mall, the grocery store, parks, other kids, etc. The opportunities for entertaining/spoiling her are endless. She's still never been to Chuck E. Cheese and I can promise you I'm not taking her--that's your job!
When she's feeling good she'll sleep a good twelve hours in a row--even more if you make the room really dark!
Let us know when you want her!

"It's Hammer, Go, Hammer, MC Hammer, Yo, Hammer!"

We're on Holiday!

Mere Hours

Mere hours before both of her parents came down with the flu:

The Best

If you want true Christmas charm, you should check out this album. John Denver and his Muppet friends do an outstanding job of conjuring Christmas cheer and wonder. I jest not. This album takes a charming spin on the classics and adds in some original work, too. Touching, really. Really. And you can buy it on iTunes! How post-modern.

This was my absolute favorite record when I was a kid. I remember rolling with laughter at Miss Piggy and her antics in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" and a little gem called "Christmas is Coming." There's this part where she continues to sing after everyone else is done and they have to stop her, I believe it's Scooter who says, "Piggy, we're done." Piggy responds in her classic pig pride, "Oh. I knew that."

The surprising thing about this album is how touching and sentimental some of the songs are. There's a song about a Christmas tree named Alfie. It was my first experience with the personification of a tree that brought tears to my eyes. It still does, by the way, they're just not as pronounced.

Maybe it's just because John Denver is from a different age, but when he sings his Christmas carols I actually think he might believe in Christmas--as in the birth of Christ. These lyrics could be criticized as overly sentimental, I'm sure, but I love them.

The garment of life, be it tattered and torn,
the cloak of the soldier is withered and worn.
But what child is this that was poverty-born, the peace of Christmas Day.

The branch that bears the bright holly, the dove that rests in yonder tree.
The light that shines for all to see, the peace of Christmas Day.

The hope that has slumbered for 2000 years,
the promise that silenced 1000 fears.
A faith that can hobble an ocean of tears, the peace of Christmas Day.

But perhaps my favorite is a little tune sung by the most famous green frog. I just mentioned this to my precious husband, that level-headed, logical man, who replied, "Yeah. I don't like that song." I love how poignant the lyrics are and the fact that I imagine little Kermie when I hear them.



I don't know if you believe in Christmas,
or if you have presents underneath the Christmas tree.
But if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
for you to come and celebrate with me.

For I have held the precious gift that love brings
even though I've never seen a Christmas star.
But I know there is a light, I have felt it burn inside,
and I can see it shining from afar.


I especially like to imagine Kermit holding "the precious gift that love brings."

It may be that these tunes will forever be favorites because of the memory connected with them. The memories of looking at the large album dust cover. Those things put CD liners to shame. Those things are bigger than your head. The detail, the color, it was awesome to gaze at those Muppets over and over while I listened to those songs. Because, People, we didn't have videos back then. You put the record on the record player and sat and listened.

This is the most verbose I've been in weeks and it's all because of those Muppets.

Don't Make Me Touch the Rag

There are certain (many) things that make my life depressing and horrible these days:

• the kitchen rag
  
• coffee grounds
  
• dirty towels
  
• wet towels
  
• clean towels (too much fabric softener)
  
• the smell of my house
  
• damp smells
  
• dry smells
  
• nice smells (perfume and such)
  
• cooking smells
  
• dirty diapers
  
• clean diapers (they have a very chemical-ly smell)
  
• direct sunlight
  
• coldness
  
• dirty sink
  
• talk of food
  
• warm wetness (if that makes sense)
  
• front yard
  
• back yard
  

You can imagine what this makes life like for those who share my space. I'm irratable and unpredictable and annoyed at myself. The hardest part is my physical inability to overcome this onset of depression. And when I use that word I mean it to describe a slowness that has overtaken my life and a lack of structure. I cannot grocery shop and mean it. I mean, I can for others, but I cannot presume to know on Sunday at 10:30 am what I will want to eat on Sunday at 10:45 am. This makes for a most difficult preservation of life.

Things I have eaten lately because it was what sounded good at the time:

• Arby's Beef and Cheddar (try twice in one day!)
  
• Subway ham and cheese with white bread (white! I never order white!)
  
• Cheese crisp
  
• Chorizo burrito
  
• (Mind you this is all in the last thirty-six hours!)
  
• bacon
  
• blueberry pancakes (in fact that sounds good. like RIGHT NOW!)
  

I told a friend recently that I would be willing to trade the first trimester for seventy-two hours of labor. That sounds extreme right? Well, imagine spending eight to twelve weeks disgusted in your skin. Imagine being disgusted by the smell of your fingertips. Imagine yourself living in the sixth circle of digestive and olfactory hell. This sucks so bad I want to numb myself with cocktails every night until February when, magically, this will all most likely be over (please, God?) because I will have transitioned out of the first trimester.

This is How It Be

First trimester nausea is like riding in the fourth row of a sixteen passenger van trying to read a magazine written with 12 point Times New Roman while on a road with lots of switchbacks. All the time.

Just relaaazz. That's right. Relaaz. It's more than relaxing.

Holidays Interrupted on Account of Reproductive Activity

This makes Thanksgiving numero dos (my first grade teacher, Mrs. Whitbeck, said all her numbers in Spanish; talk about a progressive woman for 1982!) that was slightly curtailed thanks to child-bearing. Last year it was full-on labor, this year? Full-on nausea. I'm one of those people that you could call "lucky." I've heard people say that nausea in the first trimester is a sign that the child is developing properly. This is the kind of information that is doled out when people don't know what else to say. It's like when someone dies and people tell you trite things like, "God must've needed them up in heaven." Or you lose a job and people say, "Well, there's probably something better for you out there." Or you get dumped and people say, "I never liked that person anyway."

So, I feel like chewed up bits of turkey and stuffing that has been regurgitated and left out on the counter overnight to dry. But at least the baby is healthy.

I had Jamie around for four days to bring relief to the daily duties around here. And now he's at work. Before 7:15 this morning Stella got into my yogurt and got it all over the floor. Lovely. Other than feeling ill this morning (although not too bad) I felt scared that I was going to be left as the one in charge for the whole day.

Thankfully, Ms. Martha Lee Kelly is going to come over and help me do some laundry. This should spiffy things up around here. I can barely stand the smell of the grout on the tile or the top of Stella's sweet little head (when the smell of your own children is revolting, you know you've got problems) much less clean my nasty kitchen. I don't even like to think about throwing something into the garbage can. Now I must go find out when Jamie's Christmas break starts.

Redux

Wait, did I say, "I'm so happy that she's here"? I meant I'm so tired that she's here.

This Time Last Year

I was still pregnant. And large. Though starting to have contractions.

This year? We have Stella.



Next year? We'll have one more.