Don't Despair

Some people say, "Life is so cruel. Why do bad things happen to good people?"
To which I say, "Jennifer has bounced back. I think she's even forgiven Brad and Angelina. Can't you, too?"

Some people say, "This world is unsafe for children."
To which I say, "C'mon, Britney apologized. She wouldn't do anything to harm Sean P. She was scared by the paparazzi. Wouldn't you be scared, too?"

Some people say, "There are starving people in this world."
To which I say, "Nichole Ritchie chooses not to eat. Don't feel so bad."

Some people say, "There are so many fatherless children."
To which I say, "Tom is old-fashioned. He wanted to get married before the child was born, but Katie got too fat to fit into her wedding dress. They'll fix it."

Some people say, "There are so many hurting people in the world."
To which I say, "Nick is dating already and Jessica has bought her own mansion. Things are on the mend."

Some people say, "Life is so painful."
To which I say, "Laser hair removal lasts only a short time-- hairless bikini line lasts a lifetime!"

Some people say, "You're so out of touch."
To which I say, "Wha?"