Sunday, August 12, 2007

How We Are Coping With the Nights of Not-As-Much-Sleep-As-I-Am-Usually-Used-To (Ending this title in a Prepostion)

Ha Ha. Ah Ha!

I write that long, convoluted title to throw you off a bit. It's supposed to give the impression of a jumbled mind. But jumbled I am not! Triumphant? Somewhat!

Admission: Stella was a stellar nighttime baby. Great sleeper, good at Not Disturbing The Mother. Gianna is not as proficient--yet! I say that with great anticipation and the knowledge that comes from having had only one other baby. But having had only one other baby I know the most basic thing necessary: This, too, shall pass. And it is so true. It is for this reason that I have not lost hope. I am hopeful. And I am not too tired.

I will not diminish the difficulty of waking up between 1-3 am to help a small baby get fed and settled again, but in comparison to many other "jobs" I've had--no big woop. I have read many books these days. Of course, as I was telling Jamie this morning, I don't always remember what I read which leads to me doing the cursory pre-commencement of reading read to recollect (uh, did you follow that?), but I do get some reading done.

Anyway, there is so much that changes with the addition of another body and its temperament to your household. And I am not the kind of mother that holds her child in her arms for the first time and cries tears of joy and unconditional love. I am more the kind of mother who clutches her child in her arms in the middle of the night amidst feeding frustration and is overwhelmed with annoyance and love at the same time. Because I have suddenly realized that after all these months of the physical burden of pregnancy there is a new person here and no matter how annoyed she is making me, I have realized that my love for her surpasses that annoyance. It always feels better to pass through those moments and be able to lie down in peace and quiet knowing that I don't have to regret being severe with a little person.

For good measure: photos of that part of the day when things wind down.




3 comments:

jmgb said...

the cursory pre-commencement of reading read to collect...sounds like grad school. Who knew I could have just had a newborn for that experience.

I love the girls' expression in the last photo. Can't wait to see them again.

Sac's Pops said...

Nice. Very nice.

faithsalutes said...

i will make the bed more often if that stella will learn to love me.