Thursday, April 30, 2009

There's Nothing to See Here

Turns out optometrists think you should spend the final week of your pregnancy supine. I wouldn't mind finishing this process in the horizontal position as every time I stand the blood rushes to my feet and makes them itch which exacerbates any smidgen of annoyance already present in my life.

Other things that strangers believe to be true about being pregnant:

"At least you get pampered," said our waitress. She has never been pregnant with my husband's child. She did inform us, however, that her and her husband were "trying."


"Well at least you'll miss the hot weather by having the baby in May," is the most common refrain I've heard. As if it's a consolation for having a baby in the first place. These people are the same that say that Arizona summers are "only" three months long. Because only the days in which the temperature exceeds 115 degrees can be considered summer. These days that we've had lately, in the nineties, are the dew-kissed, refreshing jubilee known as spring.

The last days of pregnancy, for me anyway, do not find me pleasantly folding baby clothes or washing small linens or preparing meals for my family. The days usually find me asking my children, "What's your problem? Why are you crying?" Of course this is usually asked after I have removed an item from their clutches that has caused an odious fight and scream-fest and I have thrown it across the room in a fit of rage.

Which brings me to the other thing I say, "Stop throwing things."


jmgb said...

you funny.
and you have every right to feel whatever it is you are experiencing, so vent away~

Joanne said...

Ha, I am having my third next Thursday and what I mostly say is "get off my damned leg" and "this baby here (pointing at stomach) is my FAVORITE!". I find what people mostly say to me is "are you having more?" While I am still pregnant! People are crazy! Good luck!