Just Now

I read Room For a Little One with little ones climbing all over me and one nursing. I almost found myself saying, "There's no more room!" But the irony was too much. Kind Ox was welcoming in Old Dog, Stray Cat, Scared Mouse, Baby Jesus and family and I didn't have room on my lap for my sweet babes?

Of course the book was also portraying the stable where Jesus was born as some kind of warm, snug maternity ward. Doubtful.

Throughout the bedtime scramble everyone is asking me to do things for them. Stella wants me to sing a lullabye to her while Rowena and John are crying in the background. The problem is that the lullabyes ALWAYS make Gianna cry and talk about how she misses Kiki. So of course singing lullabyes is great in theory but not so much in practice. I try to sing them quick and not-too-sentimentally.

Rowena wants me to hold her. And her dog and her baby and her sippy cup and her baby brother John. I can manage for a bit. Then I must put her in her crib to fuss for a bit. Then I return to my room with John and try to get him settled-enough. This is so that I can return to Rowena and enjoy some snuggles with her. The only time she wants to sit and be held is at night. Just like everyone else.

John is settled-enough searching for his thumb, in a breastfed drunk stupor for a bit.

Back to Rowena's room I go. I hold her and her entourage while she strokes my face and gives me kisses. How could I not hold her? Her hands smell like something sweet and she wants me to kiss her animals and get her "mo" water.

John starts to cry. I must eventually put her down. She's settled.

John nurses some more and is settled.

I really want to go back and hold Rowena (the big girls--non-nappers--have long gone away with Mr. Sandman) but I can tell she's quiet and settled. Still! I pick her up and try to cuddle her but she's pointing to her crib in her half-slumber and saying, "There!" She has no time for me now. She wants to be sprawled out in her crib not curled up in my lap.

This is how the bedtime slog proceeds when Jamie's at a meeting.