I like to take really long breaks in between blogging. I get worn out by writing down things that I think. Actually, I get worn out by thinking that someone is reading them and judging me. So, why not make my blog private? Lacks authenticity and vulnerability, right? Why not just blog and close comments? Again, same thought. But I did mention this to a friend of mine who blogs regularly and gets INTO IT with lots of people about politics, religion, etc. She said, "So, turn your comments off." So simple! I don't have to have those comments open. Or, I could just grow up, get over it, whatever current mantra I'm repeating to my children lately.
Let's take score: Of Hanson parents there are two. Of Hanson children there are six! A whole 'nother person has joined the mix since I last visited this my sacred space. (Cheek, with tongue in it, comes to the party.) Latest child, Dominic, spent some time in the NICU. I joked again to my blogging friend (ok, it's Leila) that I should've been blogging all along because NICU baby is blogging fodder!!! Imagine the page views. I jest, I jest. This sixth child has thrown me a curveball of parenting. People say, "Oh, you're a pro at this by now." Which, sure, if everything was always the same. I think I'll start saying to sentient adults who struggle with life, "Oh, you're a pro at this by now, right? After all you're, what? Forty? You've been doing 'life' for FORTY YEARS! You got this!" Or it's like people who say, "Oh, another child. Big woop!" I paraphrase. But someone said something like that when I was expecting my third. I was asked, "Are you excited about this next baby?" And emotionally stunted person interrupted my response to say, "You've already got two, how excited can you be?" Which is like saying. "You've already got a friend, who gives a crap about making another friend?" I mean, what's another soul/personality/person? If that were the case then why do we want to be popular/have lots of friends? Anyway, I spend time thinking about such things. I've also realized that having this public space--really something I started to record life with/for my kids--is a different animal now that those kids can read. And someday they'll want to read...maybe they won't. Now Dominic is crying. Rule Number C: Don't hit people. So says Noni who hits her siblings like it's a saint-making habit.
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Please write more! I won't be mean and I always listen!
~ Misha
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