Q is For?

While looking at an alphabet book that she was reading, Stella said to her grandma, "I'm learning my letters! B! B is for apple!"

Awesome. We enjoyed a little laugh and thankfully she has a good sense of humor about it. Just a few minutes earlier she was pointing at the "Q" and asked, "What's this letter again?"

"It's the Q," I said, "And it makes a kwa sound."

She carries on making the sound of the "Q" and is looking at the page. The book says, "Q is for Quilt." Of course a quilt strongly resembles a blanket. Stella reads, "Q is for blanket."

"Actually, that's a quilt. Remember the Q makes a kwa sound?"

So Stella thinks for a moment and then says, "Q is for kwa-blanket."

***

While in the car the girls like to play "I spy." Tonight we were driving home in the dark and Gianna says, "I spy something black."

Stella says, "The sky?"

"Yes, Stella! How did you know?!"

Genius, I tell you.

What Does Rowena Have to Say?

Emergent speech from the Nones:

When asked to thrown away John's diapers (which she is glad to do) or when she sees dog poop on a walk: "Eww! Yuck!"

Go into her room to retrieve her from her bed and say hello, she will say back: "Hi!"

Leaving, Noni will send you on your way with a cheery, "Die die!"

When she sees a dog or hears one bark she'll let you know by saying, "da da."

She does say Mama. Sometimes. Usually when sad and forlorn. Early in the morn. Like 5am.

Last but not least, the word the means all things: "Eh, baaa!" Usually accompanied with a finger pointing to said object.

On a hike with her dad and sisters--he likes to teach her tricks:

For the Hanson Family Annals

Any addition to a family requires adjustment. There really is no "good time" to have a baby in my opinion; there's always a good time. That's a really deep distinction. Or oxymoron.

The only reason I say that is because I've had people tell me that they'll wait to have a baby until things in their life are easier. Then they get pregnant. Then during the pregnancy their spouse gets a new job and they have to move. Or they lose a job and have to move--even worse. Any domestic situation can develop snags that no longer seem to work. Suddenly this baby that you've planned is coming at the worst possible time. Even though its birth was planned.

Here I sit on my bed with baby John snuggled in his blanket. The three other girls are in bed. Jamie is teaching a Latin class. It would be nice to have him home but it's also nice to have the income from his efforts. John is our second law school baby. We've been living on loans and some family savings for the past two years. Practically speaking, law school is not a "good time" to have a baby--much less two. Am I right?

If we trust that God is truly the author of new life and we are His co-creators we can't really doubt his plan for bringing new souls into this world. Admittedly, I'd like a bit of a break before any more babies. There are days when Jamie doesn't ever want more. But the truth is that when the suffering (not just mine, the entire family's) of pregnancy is passed and we're holding that new child it's all worth it.

So what does life look like now? We're a lot less mobile at this point. I'm doing my best to rest. I want to avoid getting sick like I did after Rowena was born. I was way too ambitious. The transition from three to four is easier than the transition was from two to three. Two is manageable. Then I got my third and foolishly thought three would be equally as manageable.

Wrong.

I did too much and got sick twice in less than a month. So this time I was going to aim low (even though Jamie hates it when I call it that). I don't have many plans for leaving the house for fun activities. We watch more movies than necessary. I think we'l do some baking. We read books or color. Then the girls watch more Arthur and Angelina.

I read a great post this summer that inspired me to not be so hard on myself. I'm raising little souls here, not trying to win cleanest home of the year!

1000 Words

Sums up nicely how she felt about her new baby brother:

Small Successes: Fourth Child Edition

1. I've held baby John instead of trying to do housework. This is a success since I usually can't stand the pile-up.

2. I spent all morning Wednesday by myself. The first time home with all the kids alone. And I didn't lose my temper or yell. I did have to give a couple spanks, but it was all in an appropriately measured amount of frustration.

3. I've chosen to rest and go to bed early with little John Lepant (one of his many nicknames). We snuggle up and sleep away for naps and nighttime. It's blissful. I love him to pieces already. (Surprise, surprise!!)

Her Night Moves

Gianna lays in bed for a long time, I mean a long time, before she falls asleep. She comes out frequently. She gets spanks and lots of times she gets lovingly tolerated because she does stuff like this:

"Mama, where are we going?"

I reach for the wooden spoon snuggled up beside me and show it to her.

"Mama, I love you very much." She says this with the cute little thrust of her three year old speech. "Mama, I love you and Stella and Dada and Rowena very much."

"Oh, good, Gianna. I'm very glad."

Then she turns and goes back to bed.

Unfashionable

Tonight was one of those nights where all the children are bedded down before seven. Thankfully it's dark out. The half hour before everyone was put down was filled with screams of tired protest and misunderstandings.

I told the big girls I'd read them some books. Between constant interruptions and questions like, "When you're done with this book..." I had enough. I started reading really fast with the wooden spoon nestled next to me.

I really dislike ending a day in this fashion but I dislike even more the thought of my children being really obnoxious/annoying people who cannot tell when enough is enough.

They're young. And they outnumber us.

The Thinks We Think

I became a Christian through the death of a friend. A young friend. I sometimes fall into a trap thinking that it was something meant to prepare me for a greater grief in my future. The loss of a child? A spouse? Another dear friend?

I have lost since the day my friend Matt died. In eighteen years how can one not lose something more? I even lost another dear friend before I was out of my teens. Life is such a short breath. Shorter for some.

I am at the stage in my life where lots of my contemporaries are having children. They are having children and some are losing them before they even get to hold them. This is a great sadness. It is a reminder, too, of how fragile and precious life is. It is such a shame (to myself) how frequently I take this for granted.

I read about other people's loss and I keep waiting for my own. And yet? Lord willing we will have a fourth child in less than twenty days. I am chastened by my own flippant attitude. By my worries about how much sleep I will get, how much work it will all require, how much my life will change.

We did not ask for this gift and yet we have been lavished. It took me time to be accepting. Is it my job to be excited and go out into the world with my chaotic little brood and give a face to humans who will be open to life? Being open to life also requires, demands, an openness to death and loss. I pray that these are not crosses that I (nor you) have to bear any time soon. But I cannot help but think of how it is all related when I am on the verge of meeting a new human.

Deo Gratias

Final Countdown

I have entered the stage where I can say, "A month from now there will be a new baby in the house!" While this is a great relief physically, it sometimes drains me to think of little Rowena not being "The baby" anymore. She's so darn cute and sweet and chubby and cuddly. I don't like to think of her as being replaced.

Yet I know that this thinking is faulty. I've been through it before. It was hardest when I was about to have Gianna because I had no experience with having another child to love.

This baby will not have hours of sitting idly on my lap like Stella, but he will have three adoring sisters. Rowena couldn't get enough of a friend's baby on Saturday. She kept wanting to hold him and pat him and kiss him. Naturally, the baby became a little annoyed after a bit. We'll be doing some major defensive work here for a while.

Someone asked me if I was excited to have a boy. As is my nature, I was honest and informed them that I'm never really excited until the baby arrives. They said, "How exciting can it be the fourth time around anyway, right?"

That's not exactly the sentiment that I was trying to convey. In fact, knowing how quickly babyhood passes and how very sweet babies are makes each baby added to the family more valued than the baby before. Notice I'm talking about babies, not individual persons. Of course, they're all valued, but the babies become more valuable. There is more confidence on our part as parents and more knowledge of the fleeting nature of this stage.

Stella will be five shortly after this baby is born. It blows my mind to think about how quickly it's all passed. It is with that knowledge that I look forward to meeting this next child and doing my very best to remember what a pleasure it is to have a newborn. This will be no simple task when I am sleep deprived. That will be when God's grace is most necessary. He will need to fill in all the blanks for me on all the fronts that I will fail during our next babymoon.

Teaching Her the Rules

Half the year we shout at our children, "Leave the door open!" because it's nice and they spent the last six months being trained to, "Shut the door!"

So this morning I'm telling sweet little Gianna, who perpetually runs around in underwear these days, to make sure she shuts the door when she comes inside.

"Why, or else Indians will get in?"

Oh, the ways in which her world works. This morning she didn't want to go throw her bread crusts out front to the birds because she was afraid that rock monsters were going to get her. And because I'm a big, fat, pregnant fuddy-duddy I wouldn't accompany her to the great outdoors. I had to teach her a lesson or something.

While she cried at me while wearing her little silky princess pajamas.

What kind of jerk am I?

Distinguishments the Girls Make

While Gianna and Stella were playing dolls Gianna was a naked Barbie character:

Gianna to Stella: Hi! I'm naked.
Stella: AHHH!!!!! (her doll runs and hides)
Gianna: No, I'm not a monster. Just naked.

Stella remembering past delicacies enjoyed at Chez Hanson:

Mom, remember those really good hot dogs that we used to get to eat in the morning? Not the ones that we eat for dinner or for camping out, the tasty ones for the morning.

My Second Post in One Month!

Dare I say that the heat is dwindling. I'm not naive, I know it will not be middle-of-the-day park weather for a while, but regardless, the mornings are a skosh cooler. This provides some relief from the indoor life. This morning we were out front for about thirty minutes. It was lovely.
This is the time of the year that I give up on my boundaries for TV watching for the girls. They watch a lot of TV in the summer. I've reconciled myself to this reality. Someday they will know how to read and I will expect more of that activity. For now it's lots of Arthur and Winnie the Pooh and this little odd video that they LOVE called Peep Finds! They talk about it all the time. Apparently there's a bird in there who tries to hatch a rock. They find this hilarious. And when they are building nests on the couch and playing house in little nooks and crannies they tell each other that they are hatching eggs.
Little Rowena gets a little forlorn (translation: screamy) when she tries to open the front door to escape outdoors and it is locked. This is not the most endearing indoor behavior. I know that ten years from now I will look back on these days fondly and probably forget that there was ever so much screaming in my life. But right now, the screaming? It is unforgettable. I keep telling myself that Master Hanson will not be a screamer because he's a boy. Am I right? He'll just dismantle my electronics and break his own bones frequently or something like that.
For now our indoor play looks something like this:



1. Summer 2010, 2. Summer 2010, 3. Summer 2010, 4. Summer 2010

Dear Progeny

By the looks of things on this little family album that I started years ago one would think there's not much happening. Quite the contrary, kids, you've been very busy. We've all been busy. As of today our family status is:

Stella 4.5
Gianna freshly 3
Rowena 15 months
and new baby boy to arrive 10/6/10

Plus:

Jamie is entering his third and final year of law school. This year it's only law school. Last year it was law school and teaching seventh grade Latin in the morning. It was work and school all week and then study almost all day Saturday. It was hectic and short on time. One Saturday Jamie accompanied us on some morning errands and I felt like it was Christmas. All of us together! Driving around on a Saturday morning! Would his law books feel neglected? Who cares! Yippee!!!

I have some pictures to document our lives, but they're mostly on my iPhone. And that is pathetic. There are lots of little stories about you in my head. I need to write them down. But the blog was becoming stifling. I didn't like the thought of people reading my words (I realize the irony). So I stopped writing.

But I'm a writer and I must write. So begin again, I say. I don't want to forget all the good that happens around here while our lives seem swallowed up by all the activity of life and vocations and work.

iPhone photos to prove it. I really shouldn't disparage the iPhone photos because if it wasn't for that little gadget I wouldn't have much at all. With three kids to keep track of, I don't have the capacity to keep track of inanimate, static objects.



Stella's drawing of her dad: curly hair

Hot

I've spent most of my summer out of Phoenix, so I have no right to snivel now that I'm back. I'm not sniveling, just realizing a weird mental tick I have about the heat.

When I am surrounded by civilization and unknown number of options for survival, I will be suddenly overcome by dread. Dread of the thought of being lost or suddenly car-jacked and all my stuff stolen and left. Left for dead in a Target parking lot.

This was the thought I had today while putting stuff in the car. I thought, "How long could I survive out here baking in the heat? It sure would be a desperate, depressing way to go." Knowing that I could simply walk into the store and obtain help is the ironic part of this thought being able to seize me so habitually.

It distracts me so much that I leave a newly purchased $20 bottle of Tide under my cart and drive away.

Stupid hot heat, robbing me blind.

Things I Need to Learn How to Say (Apparently, According to Stella)

"OK, you can have the camera now."

"OK, we can buy some toys at Target now."

"OK, you can have some Jell-O now, kids."

"Stella, what am I already good at saying?"

(Really, if you didn't see this answer coming....)

"No."

Before He Was a Father

When She Grows Up

"Mommy, when I grow up I'm going to live in a, uh...uh, what was that place called where we stayed in Portland? The place with all the doors?"

"An apartment."

"Yes! An apartment. And I'm going to have a hubsand (not a typo) who gets to go to work everyday!"

***

Previously, on Stella's future plans:

"Mom, when am I going to be a mom? It's taking soooo long!?"

***

What she calls her sister, Rowena Willamina Marie:

"Rowena Millamina Rowee"

For the Hanson Family Annals

While looking at a book, Gianna notices a little red bow:

"That's a Snow White bow! Those don't live in books, they live in people's hair."

Retelling her dream from the night before Stella insists that she "woke up with a large frown on her face."

And Rowena? She's taken to shaking her head, "No!" while holding onto a piece of furniture. The only problem is she is so passionate in her shaking that she frequently causes her own imbalance and crashes to the floor. Tears ensue.

Sad indeed.

The Five Senses

While reading a little book about the body:

"Skin. What do you do with your skin?"

Puzzled looks.

"It helps you feel. What about you eyes? What do they do?"

Stella says, "They see!"

"Yep. OK, what about ears?"

Both say, "Hear!"

"Yep. OK, what about your nose?"

Gianna says, "Pick!"

Songs Stella Sings

There is no familiar tune to which these are sung, just imagine a jaunty little jingle.

In the car:
"Jesus is glittering, glittering in my heart. And at church the priest talks about Jesus on the cross."

Recently in the backyard:
"Sunrise, sunrise come-uh-uhm outside."

This on actually has a tune. It's "Rainbow Connection":
"Songs about rainbows and songs about rainbows and songs about rain-ain-bows."

Her version of "Yellow Submarine":
"We haul away in a yellow submarine..."

Very entertaining.